self recrimination

 Do you know what the hardest part of the Christian life is, for me anyways? I have touched on it before. The part that just totally decimates me, gets me down and then keeps me there?

My past. The mistakes, the things from 40, 30, 20 years ago. They get in my head and just sit there, and sit there. No matter how many times I try to escape them. Then there are certain actions that always bring back things from when I was younger, and you know the weirdest part?

It's never the good things I have done that come back to be relived, it's always the stupid ones, the painful ones, the ones where I was less than a good guy. It sets me off into a spin and I have to carry that weight all over again.

Anyone else like that? Where we just sit and relive the stupidest things, the harmful things?

We know satan will do this time and time again to keep us in our place, to keep us from serving, to keep us from reaching out.

But why?

Is it because we are about to break through and serve God in a major way and he is trying to keep us down?

Is it from our own minds reminding us that we are just bad sinful people?

God tells us that if we confess it we are cleansed. If we but ask for forgiveness He forgives, then why the constant rehash of all these things, and trust me by the time you get to 52, the list is very extensive.

Does satan try to keep us down? of course.

Does our own mind do this? of course.

So what is the answer?

I don't know. I do know how to try and fight it though.

1Jn 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

Right there we have His promise that if we confess we are forgiven. Why is it so hard for us to forgive ourselves?

Why is it so frequent that our minds make us relive some of these moments?

2Co 2:11  Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.

Paul was aware of the devices and strategies of satan. as we should be as well. He (satan) will do all in his power to keep you down, doubting yourself, thinking you are unable to do that which God called you too.

It is amazing though that satan, a finite being, can have this power over us, how many times do we listen to him and stay put instead of listening to the Infinite Being, The Lord God?

We know that satan is powerful, more so than us anyways, and that we in and of our own selves are not to rebuke him, for that is ridiculous for us to even think of. He (satan) can wipe the floor with us why would we challenge him head on?

Jud 1:9  Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee. 

Jude tells us that one of the very archangels of God did not rebuke satan in his own power even though they were close in power and authority. If Michael did not, and Christ, in His temptations used scripture to refute the devil, then why would we stand upon our own strength and try to rebuke him? How foolish, how prideful we are.

Satan is a defeated foe, yet we have not defeated him, we can barely avoid the temptations (if we do) he is bringing against us, then how can we stand and fight him, rebuke him in our power? To do so is our biggest folly for that just opens the door even wider for satan to get in. By trying to rebuke him in our power, on our authority (of which we have none) it just leaves us wide open for his attacks.

So if we can not stand against satan without God, how do we defeat the things of our minds? the very weapons he (satan) uses to get at us?

Well there are several things we can use.

1. Remember that our God has forgiven us, so how can we not forgive ourselves? He has removed the transgressions from us.

Psa 103:12  As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. 

As far as the east is from the west. That's pretty far. How can we possibly hold our selves accountable if God has taken away those things from us? In fact, God goes out of His way to make sure we know He has forgiven if we confess, He has given us His Spirit to show us what to confess, and then 
He forgets all about it as soon as we do. There is no guilt if the Highest Authority has no recollection, no documentation of it. Our very "rap" sheet has been erased, there is nothing to remember in His eyes.

2. Confess, and condemn not.

If  God doesn't condemn us why should we condemn ourselves?

1Jn 3:20  For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. 

1Jn 3:21  Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. 

Once God forgives us, the old account is settled. No matter whether it is our minds, our heart, or satan that tries to make us relive it, God has removed it. If it comes to mind repeatedly, then confess it again before God, make sure it is confessed and ask Him to remove it from our conscience.

Sometimes God's Spirit will bring these things to our remembrance for us to confess and cleanse us that we might have that right relationship with Him.

3. in the midst of a memory onslaught, start singing and praising!

I know it is hard to do, but singing and praising God is the surest way to run satan off. It is the surest way to lift your spirit, it is the surest way to ease your mind. For if you are truly singing and praising Him, your mind will focus on nothing else.

Just this morning while reliving something from 35 years ago, trying to get it to stop, I started singing "there is a fountain" and guess what (other than the confusion the cat looked at me with) it made it all better. Here I am writing to help you stop this memory onslaught that sometimes so easily besets us. 

No matter where the old mistakes, the old, sins, the old failures come from in our minds there is a way to get out from under them.

Confess it, start reading scripture, and/or start singing and praising.

Stop the recriminations, for if it is under the Blood, then leave it there. Stop the blame and misery, the what ifs. Once these things pop in, stop them. Don't dwell in that place, move to the throne room of God, praising and singing of what He has done, not what you did.

There are times that this will happen no matter how "spiritual" you are, how fast you deal with it is the key.

Depression, misery is going to come if you allow it to fester, allow it to be your whole mindset.

God has forgiven you, isn't it time to forgive ourselves? Isn't it time to let go and let God deal with it?

Today has enough trouble for you, don't borrow from history as well.

Yes I know easier said than done, but a good clean Spirit, staying in the Word, and praising God is the way to a fast victory. It's hard, and I truly never expect it to stop for our adversary the devil knows our weakest points, and he will try to use it as leverage against us time and time again.

Just remember he is a defeated foe, God has won, we just have to maintain until that day arrives.

There is so much to say, but I will leave it at this.

God has given you the way out, God has given you the victory, you and I must simply take it, use the tools He has given us, and lean on Him. There is no other way.