I was out of work for a year doing work with the church website, live broadcasting the services and this blog. I was happier then with no income than I am now.
Work is a necessary evil, I get it.
But it is a means to an end, not the end result.
Why am I here? What can I do to further God's work? Because frankly that is what makes me happiest.
Working 10 to 12 hours a day, 5-6 days a week really doesn't leave time for anything else.
I have an idyllic life, lovely wife, 3 wonderful kids and a new (1yr) grandbaby. Yeah ok our finances are not great, but God provides.
But the question is this " is this all there is?"
We just went to Starbucks and the people there are all talking and socializing but their conversation is about march madness, the weather etc...
Where is the weightier concerns? Is our preoccupation with the mundane insignificant issues of this world precluding our outlook to the matters that truly shake this earth?
We use so much minutiae to distract us from the true conversation, the true meaning of life.
As I grow older I am realizing more and more that what we do day to day is not eternal. We are so myopic, lost in what we must do today that we have lost sight of tomorrow.
Of what lasting value is what I am doing today? Of what consequence are my actions? Does it benefit anyone other than my immediate circle? Does it impact anyone, change lives, create thought provoking change?
So many times on this blog I have asked about revivals and spiritual awakenings. I have pled and bemoaned the fact that we are not experiencing life changing events.
Yet I must ask what have I done to change that? What have I done to be an agent of Revival?
I have come to the conclusion that I am as culpable as anyone else.
I keep looking for the "big" chance for the grand opportunity.
But the start of most revivals most events are small. One person at a time, one action at a time, one word at a time.
John 4:39 KJV
39 And many of the Samaritans of that city believed on him for the saying of the woman, which testified, He told me all that ever I did.
This city was won over by one person. One.
The power of one is truly exciting when you see what can be done by testimony, by example , by just being a light.
This is where I fail. This is where I lose sight of things.
I want to change the world as long as I don't have to change me.
I want to lead as long as I don't have to actually do anything other than tell people what to do.
So in reality the answer to the question "is this all there is " is a resounding yes, unless I do something about it.
The thing that has to change is me. I have all the answers I need, all the guidance I need.
What I don't have is the inner desire to do the necessary things to make this change happen. I am comfortable in my existence, my routine.
It's not going to come through a bolt of lightning. There will be no loud voice from Heaven.
It will only appear when I truly pray to God to use me as His vessel, and then actually allow Him to pour His Spirit out on me however He sees fit.
It will only change when I allow God to make it happen and stop trying to do it in my own preconceived way.
Perhaps the realization that I need to change is not earth shattering but ,in the full application of it, it is profound.
Once we realize a truth such as this it is the application of that realization that brings about the effect not just the realization.
Prayer is the answer. So simple a thing yet so very hard an act.
Surrender to His Will, His Word, His work. So simple a thought, so profound an act.
Perhaps I am not wanting that revival as much I say because my actions do not show the truth of my words.
The whole of my purpose is to Glorify Him, to do His Will.
The way to achieve this? One thought, one word, one action at a time.
I will never fully understand my true purpose, my fulfilling life until I allow Him total and complete control.
God is a true and just God. He has my best interests in mind. Far better than I myself know what's best for me. Let us pray as David did:
Psalm 51:10-12
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
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