Forsaking all others

Gen 2:23  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 

Gen 2:24  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 

They shall be one flesh.  Scripture is clear on the concept of leaving mother and father, cleave to her and be one flesh.

Is that truly possible today with technology, with the " me " mindset? In most marriage vows the words " forsaking all others" are included.

Yet we don't do that, we do not forsake all others, we air our problems out with friends, co-workers, social media, parents, etc. Perhaps this is why divorce is skyrocketing, why relationships and marriages do not work.

We are bombarded in books, and tv and movies with perfect couples, problem solutions in half an hour, with perfect situations and glamour and falsehoods.

In today's world is it possible to be happily married till the end? Are we teaching perseverance, stick-to- itiveness? (yes I am aware that is not a word).

Someone came to me with a problem, I counseled them, and helped them and their spouse understand, see the problem from each other's perspective and fix it. I got lucky it was an easy problem, but they were almost on the outs,

Of course as an outsider it is easier to see the full perspective for there are no damaged feelings or past problems or baggage keeping me from see it fully.

The problem was they just did not talk about it. There was no communication, one wanted this and the other didn't. Yet the one who didn't want it did not truly understand how important this was to the other person. They themselves were indifferent and just said no perfunctorily and the first person resented the fact that they were not being listened to.

Coming to me was not optimum for this situation for it should have never got to this point, there should have been give and take, talk, debate, differences of opinion discussed.

Yet it almost drove a wedge between them that would have led to a more permanent and drastic solution.

Everybody knows the Bible say wives obey your husbands, submit to your husbands. Everyone knows husbands are to love their wife as Christ loves the Church. Christ died for the church therefore men should be ready to die both figuratively and literally for their wife.

So if every one knows what the Bible says about marriage why is the church as afflicted by divorce as the world is?

Could it be we just do not take it serious anymore? after all it is just a piece of paper right?

Wrong.

Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman. We even say Vows. Vows. That is a promise between two people. Not to be taken lightly especially when you are standing before God and man and making that vow.

This goes to our disposable throwaway society. We have taught that nothing is sacred, therefore nothing is.

I once heard someone say "are you asking God if you are married to the right person? You are married to them therefore it is the right person!"

You stood up and swore a vow to God, and your spouse, before family and friends. You promised to forsake all others, have you done that?

Have you turned the romances off, stopped watching TV and movies as if they are real? Stopped calling momma or dad every time there is an issue and getting their opinion? Have you formed a perfect union, you and them, where the priority is you and them? Not mom or dad or brother or sister or friend but your spouse is your first and foremost concern? Are you bad mouthing your spouse to others? Or are you loyal in front of them as well as away from them?

Are you on the same page on finances, church, standards, goals? Have you set goals and then the two of you set out to meet those goals all else be forgotten?

Do you discuss the Scripture, The rules of the house you will set together and then enforce together? Do you discuss the weekly schedule, the service of the church, the tithe, the bills, the extra money if there is any?

Personal accountability both in words and in actions means a lot. My wife and I text each other before either one of us spends money. It is a way to keep the other accountable. Before we make a decision we talk about it and generally make the decision together, not always, but we do talk about it.

I am not insinuating we have a perfect marriage, far from it for we are both human and tend to be selfish, just like everyone else, from time to time.

Yet this person who came to me could have solved the issue themselves if they had just talked, that's it, talked. When the spouse blew them off, then they should have tried to present it differently instead of just walking away letting the issue fester.

When you get married you make a vow. That is a promise, a covenant between you and them. God takes it seriously, so should you. 

Scoffers have a very special place in the Bible, and it isn't a good place. Scoffers are those who do not take things serious, believe that they will not face consequences. God knows. There will be consequences.

Talk to your spouse. Communicate with them. Forsake all others. Cleave to them and have a perfect union, marriage is hard but it is rewarding when God is involved and blessing you. He will bless you for honoring those vows, He loves those that keep their promises.